How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
There is no easy way to tell your spouse you want a divorce. If you find yourself trying to figure out how to have this conversation, you should consult with a Tennessee divorce lawyer. Your attorney can explain the legal ramifications of your decision to separate from your spouse. They can help you plan for the legal challenges that you could face in the immediate future.
With help from divorce attorneys in Franklin, Tennessee, you can take measures to protect yourself and your assets as you go through the separation process. Ideally, the divorce from your spouse would be seamless and amicable. Unfortunately, it’s likely that problems will come up along the way. With a lawyer on your side, you can avoid legal mistakes that could cause significant costs during the divorce process. But before you get to that point, you have to take the difficult step of telling your spouse you want a divorce. Take the time to think carefully about that conversation, and consider the below points before you sit down to have this discussion.
Be certain about your decision
Divorce is a big decision, and it’s not one to take lightly. Take the time to reflect on whether you are sure you want to end your marriage. If possible, consider counseling if you believe you might be able to resolve some of the conflicts in your relationship.
Plan the conversation in advance
Think about your words ahead of time so that you know what you want to say and how to say it. Then, select a calm, private place to have the conversation without interruptions. Make sure you have enough time to talk.
Approach the discussion with compassion
It’s not the time to start assigning blame. Express yourself by using “I” statements, and be direct but not harsh. Prepare for the possibility of a range of emotions – from anger to sadness or denial. Allow your spouse to process their emotions.
Stay calm and composed
Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into arguments. Try to avoid being defensive. You might be emotional as well, but since you are the one who prepared for the conversation, try to take deep breaths and remain respectful. If you need to step away, do so and resume the conversation once they’ve had time to deal with the potential shock.
Be prepared to answer practical questions
Your spouse may start to ask questions about who will live in your current home, how you will resolve financial issues, or where your children will spend the bulk of their time. Don’t be combative on those issues, but be prepared for how you want to answer them. If you’ve had time to speak to an attorney, and your spouse is ready to listen, share the next steps in the process. Try to reassure them that you want to make the split as amicable as possible.
Stay safe
If your relationship has been volatile or abusive, find a way to protect yourself. Consider a neutral location, and consult with your attorney about what resources might be available to help you stay safe when you deliver this news.
Consider professional support
You might want to consider communicating this news with the help of a mediator, marriage counselor, or divorce counselor. If you don’t have the chance to have your spouse attend some form of therapy with you, you may want to enlist the support of one for yourself. They may be able to help you work out the best way to approach the conversation and learn some language that might be more respectful and sensitive.
Stick to your decision
If you’re certain you want a divorce, don’t back down because you feel guilty. Sending your spouse mixed signals will only be more cruel in the long run. Remember that they will need to cope with the news, especially if they didn’t expect it.
Take care of yourself
Going through a divorce is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Don’t forget to acknowledge the stress you are under, and be willing to ask for help and support from your family, friends, or professional counselors. The process takes time, but you will get to the other side.
Get legal help sooner rather than later
There are a lot of legal considerations related to divorces. Couples accumulate assets – like your home, cars, and other property that you will need to divide. If you have children, you will need to work out a detailed plan for co-parenting. It’s likely that you haven’t thought of all the ways that you will need to disentangle yourself from your spouse as you work on moving forward. Your divorce attorney in Franklin, Tennessee, can help you identify the best steps to take in your individual circumstances.
Reach out to a divorce attorney today
No one enters a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. However, it’s not uncommon for couples to grow apart or face conflicts that they can’t resolve. When this happens, you need to find the best path forward. The Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates is here to help you through this difficult transition in your life. Our Franklin divorce attorneys understand the trauma of divorce and can offer you compassionate, knowledgeable representation. Give us the opportunity to assist you with your divorce case. Contact us today to speak to an attorney.
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