January is Considered National Divorce Month

Deciding to divorce is difficult enough for couple, especially those with children. For this reason, many couples choose to postpone their divorce until after the holidays have passed, which makes January a month with some of the highest divorce rates in Tennessee, according to ABC News.

But getting divorced in January may not be the best financial decision, either. The holidays are expensive, and any debts you and your current spouse accumulated must be shared. These include holiday expenses such as:

• Presents
• Travel, such as air fare, train or bus tickets, or the cost of long-distance driving
• Accommodations, for those not staying with family
• Holiday fare, such as family dinners (including alcohol)
• Higher electric bills from holiday lights
• Higher heating bills

Though keeping the family together through the holidays is admirable, it might not be the best decision for your family. Children may be able to sense the tension between you and your spouse, and the urge to overspend on gifts or holiday sundries – an often unconscious decision borne of guilt from the end of the marriage – can add additional stress and strain, which could potentially make the dissolution less amicable.

Telling your family about the decision to divorce

If, however, you and your spouse decide that January is the right month to dissolve your marriage you may face more questions than you anticipated – especially if you both “put on a show” to keep the holidays running smoothly. If you have small children at home, you may wish to try a few of these tips for giving them the news:

• Tell all of your children together. If one child knows before the others it could add a burden to the child who knows (keeping a secret for Mom and Dad) and make other children feel as though you favored one child, or thought they were too weak to hear the news right away.
• Expect a wide range of emotions. Your children may be angry, confused or in shock. All of these emotions are normal, and you need to accept them as they come. Telling your children not to be sad or not to worry will not help them feel better; it will only make them feel as though they cannot come to you with their feelings.
• Be honest, but not brutal. You should answer your kids’ questions honestly – but keep in mind that they are still children, and some topics may be too adult for them to handle. Avoid blaming each other for your divorce.
• Remind them that you love them. Your children, like you, will be especially vulnerable at this time. Hug and kiss your kids and remind them, both with words and through actions, that you love them and that your divorce has no effect on that love.

If you and your spouse are considering a divorce, we may be able to help. Please contact the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates to schedule an appointment at one of our offices in Brentwood, Columbia or Franklin, TN. We understand that this is a difficult time for you and your family, and will treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve.