Tips for Successful Co-Parenting

When parents separate and divorce they remain connected through their children. Most parents retain a strong desire to remain active in the lives of their children even when the marriage ends. It is not always easy to co-parent with a former spouse, but doing so is in the best interest of your children. Here are some tips to make co-parenting with your ex go more smoothly:

* Do not badmouth your ex. Children of divorce have a natural need to love and respect both of their parents. Criticizing, demeaning or other in any other way speaking negatively about your ex is absolutely off limits. You do not have to like your ex, nor do you have to agree with your ex, but if you want to succeed in co-parenting with your ex, keep your comments to yourself. Children are very sensitive to badmouthing and are likely to hear anything you say as a criticism.

* Be flexible. When your ex makes a request, voices an opinion or raises a concern, listen with an open mind before you reject their ideas out of hand.

* Respect the schedule. If you are going to be late to pick up a child or you need to make changes in the schedule, give your ex some notice. If your ex has accommodated you with changes and cancelations, return the favor when you can.

* Be a good role model. Be the parent you would want to have. Speak in a calm voice, be punctual, use good social manners and be generous with your time and energy.

* Work to resolve conflicts. If you and your ex are unable to agree on scheduling or other parenting issues, return to mediation and work it through. Try not to argue in front of children as it can make them anxious.

Divorced parents can still be excellent parents and a high level of cooperation between them can increase positivity in the family unit. If you need legal guidance while creating your co-parenting plan, speak to a divorce attorney about your specific concerns.