Toughing Out the Transition During and After Divorce

While the legal process involved in a divorce can be lengthy and stressful, the effects of divorce away from the settlement table can be even worse. After filing for divorce, you may mourn the loss of a spouse and companion as you struggle to adapt to a new lifestyle. After the final divorce decree is granted, the emotional wounds inflicted during the marriage and divorce proceedings may linger for months or even years to come.

Each person handles the emotions and stresses of divorce differently. Give some thought to how you are maintaining your mental health throughout the process. Talking through your frustrations, anger, and sadness may be a helpful release. Churches and other organizations often offer support groups where you can talk with others going through the same experience. Private counseling is also an option to consider.

During your divorce, you may start to feel a lack of control. Your legal representative can be very helpful in managing your case, but you may find yourself frustrated that you cannot control your spouse or your spouse’s actions anymore. It is important to focus on the things you can control, and to allow your divorce lawyer to guide you through those things that you cannot.

Placing blame throughout the divorce process is generally unproductive — good people get divorced, too. When blame is placed, bitterness arises, resulting in a lack of cooperation that clouds the vision of what is best for your family. If children are involved, it is important for their mental and emotional health to strive to maintain a positive demeanor. The best example we can set for our children is that we can learn from our past lessons and move on.

Like any major life change, the passage of time leads to new perspectives and healing. Your divorce is likely to trigger a major transition in your life. The direction your new path takes is up to you.