What Does It Mean to “Win” Your Divorce Case?

When a person is seeking a divorce, they generally have an idea of what “winning” may look like for them. Therefore, before you speak to a divorce attorney, it is a good idea to think long and hard about what this type of victory may mean for you.

The reason why this is suggested is because “winning” a divorce case looks different for everyone, and you want to be able to clearly explain your divorce goals and objectives with your Franklin divorce attorney.

Examples of what clients describe as “winning” in a divorce case

People have many different ideas of what they believe is “winning” in a divorce case. Here are some of the most common answers that clients give when explaining what they think winning means for them:

• Getting everything: A lot of clients visit attorneys and want to know if they can help them win by getting everything. This usually means that they want to obtain sole custody of their children, all valuable properties and assets, alimony, and even a high amount of child support. However, the reality is that no one ever gets everything. The reason for this is because there is typically not an “all or nothing” scenario in a divorce case. Therefore, if this is your idea of winning, you might find yourself extremely disappointed.
• Obtaining more than their spouse: Many people think of divorce like they would For example, they may want to finish with at least one or two points more than their spouse. In divorce terms, this means that clients define “winning” as obtaining more than their spouse, even if it is only one or two assets, a couple more hours of time with their children, or less debt than their spouse.
• Securing a fair and equal outcome: There are some clients who believe that winning a divorce case means to secure an equal outcome. Remember that Tennessee is an equitable distribution state, which means that assets and properties will be divided equitably instead of equally. Therefore, if you have a goal of obtaining equality, you may soon learn that the court typically does not divide things 50/50. Instead, it will decide who gets what property and assets based on the marriage length, you and your spouse’s age, your incomes, how much education or training you each have, how much your separate property is worth, and more.
• Avoiding a trial: You may be surprised by how many people do not want to go to a trial at all. Therefore, a win for them is simply to avoid trial altogether. The reason for this is because a trial may seem intimidating, cost them too much in legal fees, and keep them away from their children or work. As a result, some couples simply prefer to settle everything outside of court.
• Getting a fast divorce: Another surprising type of win that many people mention when discussing their case with a lawyer is wanting to get a fast divorce. This means that they are happy as long as they can hurry and finalize the divorce as soon as possible. While this is easy to understand, moving too quickly can result in mistakes, such as giving your spouse everything they want and leaving yourself with nothing. You may not care about the valuables and assets from the marriage, but it is recommended to try to take your time and ensure that you are understanding everything at stake when it comes to your divorce.
• Punishing or humiliating their spouse: One of the most frequently mentioned objectives behind winning a divorce is the desire to punish or humiliate their spouse. The clients who have this goal in mind usually want to hear a judge say that their spouse did wrong or that it is their spouse’s fault that the divorce is ending. However, you will never receive this type of validation or confirmation because it is not the judge’s responsibility to tell your spouse that they destroyed the marriage. Therefore, if winning your divorce means punishing or humiliating your spouse, you will likely feel let down.
• Protecting the children: Some people’s idea of winning is to simply protect their children. They want to ensure that their children’s best interests are taken into account and that the custody arrangements, visitation times, and even child support are decided with the children in mind. This is completely understandable as you will now be navigating a new dynamic that involves co-parenting. Therefore, the goal is to protect the children from as much disruption and confusion as possible.

Does a person ever truly “win” in divorce?

Many clients sit in our office and ask if we can win their divorce case, whether we can stand up and beat their spouse’s lawyer, and even if we can make sure that their spouse receives the harsh punishment that they feel their spouse deserves. While we understand that these questions typically emerge from a place of hurt and anger, it is very difficult to answer them. The reason for this is because no matter what you consider to be a win, both spouses will eventually experience a feeling of loss. No couple marries to eventually seek divorce.

So if you really want to “win” in your divorce, you need to change the way you think.

Instead of thinking about the divorce process as a game to win, we recommend our clients let go of placing hurt and blame on their spouse, and refocus or shift their thoughts and attention to obtaining a reasonable and logical resolution to the divorce. To succeed in the divorce process, you must create clear and reasonable goals that you want to achieve. Therefore, if your current goals do not seem realistic or reasonable, you and your lawyer can work together to create new and logical goals based on your circumstances, as well as develop strategies to secure the best results possible based on those goals.

At the Law Offices of Adrian H. Altshuler & Associates, the objective behind winning a divorce case is to help our clients identify their needs, determine whether those needs are reasonable and attainable, and do everything we can to obtain the best outcome possible. Every client has different needs. Our Franklin divorce lawyers can help you “win” based on your unique needs. Please call our office or submit our contact form to begin working with an attorney and going over the details of your divorce case today. Our office locations are located in Franklin, Columbia, and Brentwood for your convenience.